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Pharmacy Links

YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/WIVES’ SEXUALITY: “ORGASMIC DYSFUNCTION”

May 18, 2009

Orgasmic denial was replaced with orgasmic obligation, and capacity was mistaken for requirement. Women were no longer to be made love “to” but to be made love “for.” The female sexual-response cycle was seen as separate in many ways from the male’s, totally devoid of a refractory period, and dependent on much more general, romantic stimulation than the male’s. Women were now seen as intensely responsive, multiply orgasmic sexual athletes who, once appropriately and rigorously stimulated, lost all control, succumbing to their unlimited “carnal lust.” Men had to learn, according to the third perspective, to harness this infinite lust through clever stimulation, self-control, timing, endurance, and the patience to wait for the emergence of this special sexual capacity. Why they were no longer sexual objects to be used and abused, women were now to be “handled with care,” erotic puzzles to be solved by liberated men.

Women were never seen as prematurely orgasmic. Indeed, there was no limit to their sexual capacity. Only men “came too soon.” Women were seen as having “orgasmic dysfunction,” as not having orgasms or not having enough or intense-enough orgasms. Men, of course, were always easily orgasmic. In fact, they were seen as too easily orgasmic in comparison to these sexual women whose orgasmic threshold was high and required intense, generalized, and prolonged stimulation in order for “the force” to be released.

For men, the female orgasm became a goal. For women, it became an assignment, a signal of the effectiveness of their male partner. Even though many women talked privately of the fact that orgasms were highly subjective and that sometimes they were totally irrelevant to sexual fulfillment, they knew they had better have them if sexual relationships were to flourish. Group therapy for women was offered, “orgasm groups” helping women to find the way to their inner sexual potential. If men had their orgasms too soon, women tended to take too long. While men put desensitizing creams on their penises to numb themselves, women sought “sexual inventions” for easy orgasmic release. They discovered a magical spot that could help with all of this. After all, we were now living in a pushbutton culture, so why not look for the female sex button? Men didn’t need one, because they were turned on all the time anyway, but it seemed important to look for the female “on switch.”

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